Monday, July 14, 2008

Today's kind of a slow day, so I've spent the day brushing up (Ha! Ha! Get it? PAP SMEARS. Uh...sorry. Just some nerdy gyn humor) on colposcopy. And let me tell you, there is no better birth control than seeing a confluently warty cervix basking in the sweet embrace of some HPV. Almost as effective as delivering the baby of an un-epidural-ized woman screaming, "HE'S TEARING OFF MY CLITORIS."

3 comments:

gabbiana said...

And then post-colposcopy birth control:

Nurse, sternly: "And nothing in the vagina for six weeks. No tampons, no douches, no sex."
[Note: The doctors recommended two weeks and not six, but whatevs.]
Patient: "No sex?"
Nurse: "NO SEX."
Patient: "... Well, that's okay. My boyfriend likes head."

Dragonfly said...

Good grief...

Applecart T. said...

!!!

(glad you're back to posting to public land. missed the hospital fun.)