Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Two of my girlfriends and I are taking a little vacation to Puerto Rico shortly after graduation and we're getting back to the States roughly 30 hours before my residency starts, so I guess I'm cutting it pretty close. Right now I'm online trying to figure out exactly how I want to plan our time out there, and I think we're going to Vieques, a tiny little island off the coast of PR, for a few days. I was trying to book a hotel there, when I saw this package:

Procreation Vacation
couple_75x75 Let the undiscovered island paradise of Vieques Island be the scenary for a romantic getaway designed exclusively to promote fertility.

Our Procreation Vacation package includes luxury suite accommodations as well as:
• Unlimited glasses of sea moss elixir for the future dad. Made from a marine plant mixed with evaporated milk, sugar and spices and sea moss has long been the Caribbean’s aphrodisiac!
• Unlimited bowls of pumpkin soup for the would-be Mom. De rigueur among island women for conceiving, pumpkins are rich in vitamin A and beta-carotene, which promote fertility, successful pregnancies and lactation.
• One 50-minute couples massage with aromatherapy, an aid in regulating women’s fertility cycles, and reflexology, known for boosting virility.
• One in-suite dinner for two.
• One romantic dinner for two at resort fine dining restaurant.

I...just...wow. Planning a vacation around your infertility seems like a huge recipe for disaster, in my opinion. Infertility, though not a medical emergency, is almost worst because it's a problem that can strain a relationship and lead to insecurity. Darling, I'm afraid your sperm are sluggish. Or perhaps it is my retroverted uterus that is impeding the preggers! Let's celebrate! And can you imagine calling the hotel and asking for the "PROCREATION VACATION package?" I love that their selling points are unlimited sea moss elixir and unlimited pumpkin soup. Those both sound like severe punishment to me.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

What about the fact that mega-doses of vitamin A can cause fetal anomalies??

Ennis said...

Is Vieques still a shelling range for the US Navy? If it is, then it might be a great place to procreate. Did the earth move for you this time? Uh huh. Well then, let's do it again!

valerie said...

First, congratulations on the graduation. Second, I'm glad I can read your log again. And third, my cousin went on one of those procreation vacations and actually conceived! Don't know if they used elixirs and pumpkin soup.

Augustus said...

This can't really have effect, I think like this.
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