Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Hey ya'll! Only three more mornings of waking up at 4am on this rotation! And I got my letter! (YAYYYYYY!!!!)

And now for another episode of

Stupid Things I Did Today:

1. I overslept to 5:20. I was so tired that I accidentally set my alarm clock for 4 PM. Brilliant.

But AHA! My brilliant time-saving morning routine consists of me having picked out my clothes the night before and then just donning them in the morning. It sounds stupid but seriously...when you're up at pre-asscrack of dawn EVERY EXTRA SECOND of sleep is worth it. So today was clinic day (hence not changing into scrubs right after AM rounds -- hey, you know how on Grey's Anatomy the scrubs look like they're made out of that stretchy comfortable material, and the girls look all curve-ly and pretty in them? Real scrubs? Made out of non-stretchy cotton with too much bunchy fabric around the crotch. And the M-sized legs are too short. I can't cross my legs when I sit otherwise there's a good unprofessional 7 inches of ankle showing.) and also day of asking Dr. Tiny Dancer for my letter. So I decided that I should take some effort to be presentable today; I straightened my hair last night and picked out a pretty filmy black skirt and sleeveless turtleneck top to wear.

THEN when I woke up over an hour late (I think I woke up because the sun was coming up -- it's like my body was exposed to sunlight and went into shock crisis) I had clothes to immediately change into, before running to the hospital (where I had just enough time to run around and get my notes done. I brushed my teeth and washed my face in the locker room 5 seconds before rounds) all in a panic.

But hooray! At least I was clothed! And I hadn't done anything embarassing, like put my white coat on without a top underneath, or wearing mismatched shoes. (Let's not go into details but IT HAS HAPPENED.) OR HAD I? We were halfway through rounds (A good TWO SOLID HOURS after I got there) when I realized that my pretty filmy black skirt? With 2 layers of transparent mesh and a third crucial layer of solid black nylon? Had somehow gotten all tangled up in my underwear such that the crucial solid layer was completely tucked into my underwear, while nothing stood between me and the world except 2 layers of see-through mesh. Yeah! Flashing the patients your goodies! Score! When I finally received the skirt crisis alert we were actually standing in a patient's room so I snuck behind some M3s and tried to untuck skirt while simultaneously trying to hold skirt down. And the whole time prior? When I was happily walking around, thinking all the stares were because of how FLY I looked, were actually because I looked like an idiot.

2. I was examining a patient in clinic when I noticed this mobile pulsating mass in her abdomen. I was concerned (like OMG her ovarian cancer has RECURRED in the form of a HUMONGOUS PULSATING PERITONEAL TUMOR stuck to her abdominal wall) so I presented this finding to the attending who mashed around for 2 seconds before determining that my "2cm x 3cm firm, mobile non-tender pulsating mass in right upper quadrant" was her abdominal aorta. Brilliant.


Anonymous said...

Girl, You make me laugh everytime I read your blog. While I have appeared in a clinic setting with mismatched shoes, I don't remember ever wearing a see-through skirt! Your patients must love you, you're so human. Thanks for the grins. Valerie

Gautham said...

Posts like this are why I love your blog

trAcy said...

i will try to look for wardrobe crises on the interns next time i'm in a hospital.

great stuff. i used to have to get up that early, and i never got used to it. clocks can't be trusted. at least you're sleeping and not half-awake with anxiety all night worrying that you won't wake up on time!