Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Behold! My new shoes:

See? So pretty! With the sequins!

Now imagine you're the type of person who likes to wear ridiculously extravagant shoes to work [c'mon people: clinical research? Not that exciting. DON'T TAKE AWAY MY ONLY JOY.] and you're also of the sort who never checks the weather [and actually even if I did, I probably wouldn't be able to find my umbrella and would just end up missing the bus anyway]. What you end up with is a big freakin' mess. I normally have a high tolerance when it comes to chaos but LEAVE MY SHOES OUT OF IT.

I left the hospital to walk to the bus stop and unfortunately, it was pouring rain. It was actually really pleasant though; that's a very nice thing about Iowa -- first rain of the summer and it smells all earthy and rich [as opposed to Chicago where the first rain of the summer means the fresh smell of horse manure and sewer] so I didn't mind the fact that I was getting drenched.

There's also serious construction happening right outside the hospital, so much so that they've closed the sidewalk, forcing pedestrians out onto the street. Also not a problem, except, like most hospitals, this one is frequented by geriatrics. I do love Iowa but home skilettes CANNOT DRIVE. I didn't understand what road rage was until I moved here. In order to avoid getting mauled by a Cutlass driven by a 90 year old woman I stuck to the curb where it was all muddy. Ewww...mud on my new shoes. Acceptable only if the alternative is death or loss of limb.

And THEN I realized that not only was I walking in muddy curb bilge, but I was also being attacked by something. MESH. There was some sort of meshy apparatus that was molesting the sequins on my shoes. I tried to gently disengage but the FUCKING MESH. UNSTOPPABLE. I ended up having to rip the mesh off, and some of the sequins popped right off my shoes. (!!!)

So now that it's all down on paper and I'm looking it over again the drama of the story doesn't match the indignancy I felt at being ASSAULTED by THE MESH but my poor shoes are being fixed up at the shoe doctor's as we speak.

4 comments:

Slenderella said...

Who made that beautiful shoe? I LOVE IT! And I feel your pain over shoe damage. I gasped when I saw the shoe (JOY) and then gasped even louder when I read what happened to it (HORRORS)! My husband thought I saw a dead animal or wounded child based on my level of gasping. Poor shoe!

Pixie said...

That is a wonderful shoe.

I'm green with envy :)

Are they comfy?

Colleen said...

As a fellow shoe lover...that is a kick ass shoe. I hope it is good as new when it comes home from the shoe doctor!

sleepy said...

I hardly ever wear heels so I get pretty flats. Pretty brown and gold flats that actually sink into the mud when you're in a hurry to get to school and take a shortcut after it rains. My pretty flats are ruined and no shoe doctors around. sigh.
Hi, by the way. I found your blog through sepiamutiny and the story about MOIG was hilarious, I actually snorted vanilla milkshake all over my pretty brown shirt, but that's another story :)