Monday, April 17, 2006

I took Reflux to the groomers today. When I picked him up I had the sudden revelation that maybe I should have spent less time mocking his disabledness and more time brushing his hair out.

Before


After

I KNOW. It's like he shriveled up. It appears that 95% of his body weight was in his shaggy hair and when you take that away you're left with anorexia of the elderly.

But doesn't he look dapper in his butterfly hair clip and Bedazzled scarf?

He thinks I'm denying him some raisins. Reflux loves him some raisins. Unfortunately they cause nephrosis in dogs so I'll do my civic duty and eat all the raisins myself.

From the back he sort of looks like Gollum.

He smells the Grillin' Bite.

He's located the Grillin' Bite.

Conquer the Grillin' Bite!
And then he chews.

And chews.

He continues chewing for another 3 minutes. He chewed so vigorously that the butterfly clip went flying off at some point. Pretty impressive for a dog with no teeth.

********

This is totally hilarious, especially if you watch The Apprentice. And even if you don't, Tarek is FOYNE. And what does "Step up!" even mean? It sounds like one of those corporate terms that's basically a load of hoo-ha. Like the way in medicine we say "Axis Two Psychopathology" instead of "big fat jerk who always tries to look down my blouse when I listen to his heart."

There's also this is which is from last season's Apprentice when the guys' team won and their reward was that they got to put together a rap song with Wyclef. It's just as painfully dorky and awkward as you might expect but at the same time but you can't turn away. Markus stands in front of a microphone screaming "YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS!" and it's seriously the best part of the song and I'm not even being sarcastic. I remember this episode really well because I watched it with my older brother and then for the next 7 months anytime I called him he would pick up the phone screaming "YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS!"

1 comment:

Khakra said...

for his size, reflux delivers quite a decent load of poop