Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Boring. Boredom. BORED!!

These past few days I've been a little disgruntled with my research and my life in general. I think the low point was on Monday as I was preparing a poster for a poster session and I was looking on PubMed to reference an article and I realized that SOMEONE ALREADY WROTE MY PAPER.

And no, like not in a good way where you get together with your friends to work on a project and realize that the overachiever has anticipated everyone else's laziness and has already done all the work and there's your name safe and secure on the title page. Like in a BAD WAY where you come to class all proud of your paper considering the homosexual themes in The Epic of Gilgamesh and then you realize that SOMEONE ELSE wrote the exact same paper except it compares the homosexual themes in The Epic of Gilgamesh to modern day homophobic works and it's like 10x better than the crappy shit you made up last night at 4AM. Not only that but you were actually supposed to email the paper in over the weekend, not bring it to class on Monday. And you were late to class anyway because your printer broke and no one on your floor had a functioning printer because your dorm was so old that all the electric wiring had gone to shit and fried many of the appliances so you had to run downstairs and use your RA's printer except it was one of those $40 color printers that when it runs out of black ink it starts to print in rainbow so your paper is barely legible now anyway. Not that that happened. To me. Freshman year of college. Whatever, I'm over it. But THAT'S EXACTLY HOW IT FELT.

So that kind of sucked, to see that someone else did the EXACT SAME PROJECT except evidently on a larger and more diverse scale, because COME ON, I live in IOWA and EVERYONE IS WHITE and I WANTED to compare the different phenotypes by race but it just seemed STUPID because only like 7 subjects out of over 200 were nonwhite.

Erm. Anyway. I've coped with this blow to my sense of originality and cutting-edgeness by drinking copiously. It seems to have worked.

Anyway, I also realized that while I LOVE the lifestyle that goes along with doing research, clinical practice of medicine is far more gratifying. I can't wait to see some patients again! (This is a total flip from the reaction one of my friends had after M3 year when she realized she hated sick people and became a pathologist.)


BidiSmoker said...

I just discovered your blog and it's like looking back into a female mirror. To be honest it's kind of scary. But incredibly entertaining. Just letting you know.

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