Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I'm my own bitch.

There's something wrong with my cellphone. I think the little doohickey that the charger plugs into is all loose and broken. The reason I think that is because the other day I accidentally pulled the charger out of my phone without squeezing the release buttons on either side and both my charger and the little metal outlet thing popped out of the phone. I panicked and tried to stuff it back in but I think the damage has been done. My phone's been dead for the past 2 days. I have to go by Verizon later and see if they can fix it for me but until then I've been abusing my long-distance code at work.

I've been checking my voicemail remotely, and I got one earlier today from my mom that said we might have to go to Texas this weekend to see aforementioned dying relative. I called her back to gauge how serious they were about this because I was actually planning to go to Chicago this weekend.

Unfortunately there's this problem at my house where we have 3 separate phone lines and no one knows how to use any of them. So if you call my house you're most likely to go straight to the fax. Also, at some point in the last 5 years my parents bought 8 cordless phones and got rid of all the non-cordless phones, but instead of making life easier, all this means is that over the course of an evening or two, my dad will have taken every phone to remote corners of the house and then forget where he left them, and then no one can find a phone fast enough to answer it, or all the phones are dead, or (most likely) nobody sees a phone within arms reach and just gives up, in which case you will also get shunted to the fax machine. Everything was fine until about 2 years ago, when the power went out and all the lines got all jumbled up somehow. We also have an answering machine that just turned itself off when the power went out, and no one ever bothered to turn it back on again. Which brings me to the next part of my story.

So I called my mom at home from work to find out what was happening with this whole Texas situation, and it rang a few times then went straight to the fax machine. (BLEEEEEEEEEEEP BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRR URRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BEEEP BEEEEP BEEEP in case you're wondering what that sounds like.) I never call my mom from work, or in the middle of the day, so when she saw an unfamiliar Iowa number pop up on the caller ID I think she got freaked out and called it right back. It went to the department receptionist, who patched it through to my office, which I had just left. I don't know what sort of motherly fear and anxiety my mom struck into the heart of the receptionist, but when I came strolling back she almost yelled at me, "You need to call your mom RIGHT NOW."

Of course I envisioned a terrible emergency like the time last year when my parents car got smashed by a train on the railroad tracks (Don't worry, they weren't in it. That's another extremely long and extremely stupid story for another day.) and immediately phoned home again. And after that there was a long and stupid conversation where we both tried to figure out what horrible tragedy had befallen the other person, and then a happy ending when we realized it was just a misunderstanding. And then when I hung up I realized that I totally forgot to ask about Texas. Dammit!


Colleen said...

At least your parents have decided to join the modern era with some cordless phones. My parents not only still have corded phones, their phones are rotary! Talk about stone age...

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