Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Sometimes I want to kick myself in the ass Part 2

I spent my weekend in Chicago. Have almost recovered! Also successfully managed to break most New Year's Resolutions on Saturday night with one fell swoop, although unfortunately do not remember most of the night, and recreated events based on reports heard from others.

1. No more drinking to the point of amnesia.

2. No more junk food.
Apparently we went to McDonald's around 3AM and I ate an entire Crispy Chicken Sandwich Extra Value Meal. And I stole my friend's cookies and ate them too.

3. Be strict vegetarian.
See #2.

4. Be thriftier at bars.
I discovered this one today when I looked at my bank account online. But hooray for having the wherewithall to close out tab before leaving! Unlike that one time that I forgot to close out and was too lazy the next day to go back and get credit card so instead just cancelled card.

5. Try not to be intoxicated around family members.
Thought this one would only apply to family weddings etc but we ran into my younger brother out with some of his friends at some bar. I remember seeing him but after that it gets hazy. I believe this is also the same time as the mystery tab. I called him on Sunday to "see if he got home ok" but secretly really to make sure I hadn't embarassed myself too much.

6. No more drunk dialing.
This was the really bad part. It's not even like I have anyone special to drunk dial. The lucky guy Saturday night was this Really Nice Guy (RNG) in my research program. He seems like a cool guy but we barely know each other! In fact, when my friends told me about this I couldn't even believe I had done this until I checked my dialed calls. Oh yeah. I went there. LAME.

Last night was my program's holiday dinner so I thought all day about what I was going to do. What I really wanted to do was just ignore it but then I also sort of thought maybe I should explain that I was trying to call somebody else and dialed him by accident, just to avoid awkward moments in the future.

After dinner we were all chatting, then RNG and I happened to be walking in the same general direction. Against my better judgement I realize now may be my only opportunity to clear my name. We made small talk about sports etc then...

R: Begins lamely. So did you happen to receive a call from me at like 4 AM on Saturday? I was out with my friends and we were trying to call our other friend. Awkwardly rushes in to apology without letting RNG speak. I guess I was pretty out of it, I think I dialed you instead! I'm so sorry -- I hope it didn't like wake you up or anything. Mouth has become uncontrollable entity and words won't stop coming out. It was kind of like that time I was trying to call my friend Homa but instead I dialed 'Home' and woke my parents up at 2 AM. They were pretty thrilled about that. Hee hee. Laughs weakly.

RNG: Oh, you did? Um...nope, I usually turn my phone off at night. Must have gone straight to voicemail. Yeah...um, you gotta be careful with those names that look alike. No worries.

R: Had not anticipated this response as friends had told her that she definitely let it ring for a while and had earlier confirmed this by checking call duration (14 seconds) so had already eliminated this possibility. Now realizes she has talked herself into a crazy corner and sees no way out. Umm...

RNG: Oh hey look at that there's my car right there. I'll see you later. Flees.

R: Is flustered and forgets where she has parked. Turns right and walks down half a block before realizing car is actually in opposite direction. Doesn't want RNG to see her wandering streets like lost puppy and is still embarassed so panickedly ducks into alley just as RNG happens to be driving by. RNG turns and makes eye contact for split second, long enough to see R scurrying about in manner of Darkwing Duck.

And that, kids, is how you spell SMOOTH.


oodles said...

OMG, that was too funny. I'm pretty sure I have never drunk dialed, but I'm not completely sure.

Khakra said...

"Hi Homa," dupe shouts at 4AM

"Is this you dupa? How many times will I tell you that on Saturday nights we are not in India. So stop calling us at 4AM" dupa ma shouts.

If you've got a nokia, you're probably dialing the first name on your address book way too much...

suitablegirl said...

i am now consumed with using the phrase "in the manner of darkwing duck" at some point online, very soon. hilarious post.

sparkydoom said...

drunk dialing sucks. try messaging someone u didn't mean to and the message is about them just after a fight.

All Mixed Up said...

you are hilarious...

and for the record: my little brother tops all being around your family incidents EVER.

we went to a wedding in NYC and they'd chartered a bus and on the way back all the boys stole liquor from the wedding... he ended up getting so drunk, he threw up ON MY DAD on the bus--and he was underage at the time!

and darkwing duck is AWESOME!

punchberry said...

Good job! Best to get all of the resolution breaking out of the way in the beginning of the year. At least you were not procrastinating.

I am scared to drunk dialing, so I remove ex-boyfriends from my cell phone number list. I pretend that they are deleted forever, but actually, they are just moved to a safe, undisclosed location.

BidiSmoker said...

Such a great story.

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