Monday, January 23, 2006

Oversharing in that crazy way.

I finally got IRB approval (one month turn-around time MY ASS -- I submitted that sucker in October) for my latest clinical research project and was off recruiting patients today for this study. In addition to 5 million other exclusion criteria, subjects can't be pregnant because we're subjecting them to radiation/drugs etc. (Hello, this is an INFERTILITY clinic. This is a bigger problem than you might think. Everyone's trying to get pregnant. We have a hard time making sure they don't get pregnant for the duration of the studies.)

Witness attempted recruitment conversation with patient I shall call "Oversharer In a Crazy Way (OiaCW)" today:

R: Blah blah blah protocol...and then we'll do a urine pregnancy test, because we can't have any pregnant women in the study.

OiaCW: Guffaws. Well I'm not the doctor but I don't think THAT'll be a problem because you'd have to be HAVING SEX for that to happen, right?!

R: Looks down at clipboard as though professional response to spontaneous and completely insane outbursts from patients will materialize. Twirls pen thoughtfully.

OiaCW: Goes for punchline. And I'm NOT. Having any. Sex. And that's why I don't think that'd be a problem.

R: Offers an awkward chuckle. Ha ha? Wants to laugh in order to appease OiaCW but also concerned about insulting OiaCW and potentially repelling v. good candidate.

OiaCW: Sign me up!

1 comment:

Khakra said...

sounds like she was on the rebound from a pretty rocking previous night that resulted in broken beds and lots of yodeling. I say, not good for your study if she didn't use protection.