Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Never underestimate.

As part of our current study, patients are supposed to walk all over the hospital from one department to another, to get stuck with needles and zapped etc. So they need maps, because the hospital is gynormous (biggest state university hospital in the country, ya'll!).

But we can't just GIVE them a map. NOOOOO...that would be too easy. The last thing we want to do is have control subjects wandering confused through the hospital, so we have to completely idiot-proof the maps. I'm not trying to say anyone's an idiot, but the hospital is large. Large and in charge. When I first came out here I accidentally got off the bus at the medical school and not at the hospital, and it took me 45 minutes to find my way back. People the med school and the hospital are CONNECTED. They're barely 200 feet apart. So it's confusing mmkay?

So today that meant that it was my official job as research scutmonkey to take the hospital map and add descriptive detail to all the places subjects would be visiting and number them in the proper order they were to visit. (What? Yes, they already have this information in a hand-out and have heard this about 14 times by the time they actually get here for the study. But sometimes it's good to have the visual in front of you too. It's kind of like how I can't read anything that's not bulletpointed.)

Then my team (Team "Idiot-proof the Maps for Research Subjects") decided that perhaps, in addition to numbering the clinical sites, it might help to also LIST the clinical sites and geographical detail (ie "By Elevator C." "On 3rd floor." etc. All the information that's ALREADY ON THE MAP) in order on the side of the map.

Now the map looked too cluttered. Team IptMfRS and I now thought that because the numbers ran in order down the side of the map but were all out of order on the map itself that might just add to the confusion. So I took blank sticky labels and used them to cover up all the parts of the hospital that subjects would NOT be visiting.

Voila...idiot-proof map! And what did I learn today? NEVER UNDERESTIMATE ANYONE'S DUMBNESS. Dr. Sipe, you've fulfilled your teaching requirement for the semester. ;)

***

Currently bathing: the dog because he peed all over himself while I was trying to watch American Idol.



The pictures are totally gratuitous, I just think he's cute when he's all wet. Like a cute little sewer rat. (And I KNOW. He's so freakin' malnourished. He looks like he has marasmus. I blame his previous owners. I found out more information about those shitheads: I was told they were "mentally challenged" but this is apparently an Iowa euphemism for "crystal meth users."

1 comment:

ThePurpleSeal said...

I just found your blog, it was a great read! A while back i actually found a british labels company who printed me some sticky labels for a really low price. If you are at all interested then it may be worth taking a look at their website as they do all different types of label printing.