Friday, December 23, 2005

Part the Third

I miss India! Relatives/family notwithstanding, I really miss all the little snacky foods with adorable names like Mo'Pleez and Cheetos Spicy Masala Balls and referring to diapers as Baby Nappy Pads. In spite of all the corruption and seediness present here there's an unmistakable innocence too. My cousin has a 3 year old son who likes to take his pants off when he's mad so he's always running around in his underwear and one day I noticed he was wearing ruffly pink underpants so I asked his mom if they were hand-me-downs and she said no, they just like it.

Then I was looking through some old photos, and I found pictures of little toddler boys in dresses!! Where we're from in India there's a custom for little boys to not cut their hair at all til they're 2 or 3 years old, so you have all these little boys running around with long hair and it's really cute and all, but in my family they also like to pierce their ears and dress them up in little girls' dresses because WE ARE STRANGE.

This would explain all the gender-flexibility in my own family too. Apparently when I was just a little fetus, the ob saw a penis on the ultrasound and told my parents that I was a little boy. This announcement coincided with the closing of a nearby Woolworths, so my mother went and bought all these little boys clothes and shoes and stuff on clearance. Then I was born (SURPRISE!!) and they apparently decided to proceed as though I was a boy anyway. Other baby girls get those cute little hairbows and poofy dresses but I was rocking Spiderman gear til I was like 7 years old. Anyway, since I seemed so well-adjusted anyway, my mom decided that she could just dress me in my older brother's old clothes, so I was wearing boys shoes and clothes well into my formative years. Oh well. Nothing therapy can't fix.

Boy? Girl? I'M NOT TELLING!!

6 comments:

sparkydoom said...

ahhh come on.. please tell.. the suspense..i can't take it.
it's a girl right?

oodles said...

I'm a firm believer in therapy! :)
And, my sister and I would dress my brother up in girls' clothes when he was little, because we were mean like that.

Khakra said...

Bespectacled dadaji in picture smiling wondering if the boy-girl combo will grow up to wear safari suit just like good old dadaji.

punchberry said...

My parents would not let me wear pink until I was about 10 years old, because this was the color society "uses to hold women down." They also maintained my doll to toy car ratio very strictly. Well, the toy cars were in brand new condition when I outgrew them, I wore nothing but pink as soon as I got to pick my own clothes, and my parents are now FAR FAR from being hippies. Thankfully, they never had any boys, so we never got to find out what random restrictions would protect male offspring from the hard of societal influence.

Great post! I really enjoyed reading it.

DocBellaise said...

This is hiliarious! You are one of the funniest writers ever!

Brian said...

Thanks for your article, pretty useful piece of writing.
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