Sunday, November 27, 2005

Que suave!

I just returned to my Iowa City apartment from Centralia. Viva the long weekend!

Hello old friend. (That stupid semi rolled right in front of the Gynormous White Cross of Oppression just as I was trying to snap the photo.)

In a fit of extravagance my dad bought me a first class plane ticket to India. (THIS is exactly why I'll be over 200 grand in debt by the time I finish my education.) In exchange, I'm supposed to collect as many miniature bottles of alcohol I can get my hands on and save them for him. I said something about how I'd rather horde all the liquor and get really plastered on the plane by myself. To which my mom said, "Then you can be like TAKE ME TO THE COCKPIT!! I WANT TO SEE THE PILOT!! Wouldn't that be hilarious?" Sometimes I think my mom and I would be really good friends if I knew her when she was my age.

When my brothers got home they made me watch Saw with them. When I took out the DVD to put it in the player I should have noticed all the dismembered limbs on it and just gone to bed. But I can be remarkably unobservant sometimes. And OH MY LORD that was the most fucked up disturbing movie I've ever seen. I've had to sleep with the lights on every night since I saw it.

That first night I woke up around 3 am because I heard the most ungodly, inhumane screeching noises I've ever heard in my life. I woke up all in a panic, thinking it was the scary clown from the movie coming to get me but then I realized it was just Reflux. He had somehow gotten both of his hind legs wedged in between the mattress and the footboard of my bed and his upper body and torso were flailing about panickedly. I rescued him from the bed and stuck him in the bathtub for the rest of the night, lest he scare the shit out of me again with another crisis of stupidity.

On Thursday (after a very delicious Thanksgiving dinner of samosa chaat and frozen burritos! We are classy peoples.) my older brother and I went all over town (Ok, reading this again, it looks like we roamed far and wide ALL OVER THE VAST CITY OF CENTRALIA in search for pie when really all we did was drive by the 3 grocery stores and Wal-Mart, because that's pretty much all there is to Centralia) looking for pecan pie but the only place that was open was Aldi's. I saw this marked as "Christmas Fun Toys! For Little Children!"

Ok, America: Wake up! We are being manipulated from childhood to crave fast food and be obese! Boycott the fastfood crapaurants! (Except Wendy's. Wendy's can stay. I love that Spicy Grilled Chicken sandwich. Mmmm. So spicy. And greasy. YUM.)

On Saturday my younger brother drove my parents to Chicago to drop them off at the airport, and my older brother flew off to Texas for an interview, so I was the only person left to go this wedding of a close family friend's daughter in St. Louis. I had to go to my mom's friend's house so she could help me put my sari on. I'm half-retarded when it comes to saris. It's more challenging then it looks! It's basically 6 yards of fabric that's supposed to be all pleated and shit, and not fall off when you try to move even though you have 17 safety pins on. The kicker? My mom's friend is PHILLIPPINO. And she has the sari skillz, while I'm sari-tarded. Objective #1 for upcoming India visit: Learn how to dress myself in a sari FOR GODSSAKES. (I guess that'd actually be Objective #2, behind "Embrace cultural heritage/Reunite with relatives etc.")

The highlight of the night was when I was explaining my research to an obstetrician and she said, "You're like a Fountain of Knowledge!" I am no Fountain of Knowledge, but the compliment went straight to my head like bad champagne. In fact, the only reason I was able to hold up my end of the conversation was because my PI makes me research and write the protocols entirely on my own, so I kind of know my way around what I'm researching. (And that's pretty much all I know. That Fountain would have dried up quickly if she'd wanted to talk about anything else.)

It's been a long time since anyone's had anything nice to say about my fund of knowledge, mostly because you spend your 3rd year of med school being made to feel like a useless piece of crap because you can't answer all the stupid and irrelevant pimp questions constantly thrown your way. I know some of my friends had a tough time adjusting to med school in general, because the environment can be extremely competitive but not everyone can honor every rotation and be in the top 10. (I, on the other hand, had no such problems. I very easily embraced my mediocrity!) I think all med students have felt this way at one point or another, though. Unless you're one of those ridiculous geniuses that never has to study, goes drinking 3 nights a week, and still has all of Pocket Medicine memorized and got nominated to AOA, in which case GO FUCK YOURSELF you lucky motherfucking bastard.

Anyway, back to work, just for a few more days anyway!

1 comment:

Khakra said...

haha on sari-tarded! don't blame india or your parents, it's your 3rd year med school memories.