Monday, October 17, 2005

Still basking in the steamy afterglow...

...of my favorite soap opera, Grey's Anatomy.

I loves it. It ain't exactly Scrubs, where everything is good-natured and benign, and it ain't exactly ER, where it's all drama, all the time.

Allow me to recap the episode, in case you're unfamiliar with the show:

When I tuned in, the team was rounding on some white girl named "Kalpana" who has idiopathic ventricular arrhythmias. Yang, fresh off her ruptured ectopic pregnancy/salpingectomy wheels her IV pole in the room and insists on taking part in the pimp session. When they kick her out, you can see her red underwear where her gown flaps open in the back. Zany good times on the post-op floor, ya'll.

Izzy and the HOOOOT ex-Calvin Klein underwear model/stereotypical asshole male surgeon who went to med school at Iowa (shout out!!) finally agree to go on a date together. Just HOOK UP already so I can see him with his shirt off. [Envisions Calvin with nothing but his scrub bottoms on..mmm.]

When I return to reality Yang's obnoxious mother is there embarassing her, though she seems surprisingly relaxed about the whole secret-illegitimate-pregnancy-ruining-your-residency thing. In fact, Burke walks in and the mom gushes about how cute he is and why can't Yang bring home a nice boy like him. That sounds like what MY Asian mother would be worried about at that moment.

Meredith, McDreamy, and his hyper-botoxxed wife ad nauseum. Meredith and McDreamy were dating, til all of a sudden his estranged and unfaithful wife moves back to town. Meredith promptly dumps McDreamy who has spent the last few episodes looking wounded and making puppy-dog eyes at her across the pre-op area.

I miss a few more minutes because Reflux is making retching sounds in a corner somewhere and I grab him and we make a run for the balcony.

When I return to the show, Meredith's mom, who has early-onset Alzheimer's and has been admitted for possibly some sort of hepatic carcinoma is dressed in scrubs and making out with Weber, the chief of staff, by the sinks outside one of the ORs. WHAT?!?! This hospital is filled with the most stupid and irresponsible ancillary staff ever, if that be the case. Also, must EVERYONE get it on at the hospital? I am slightly grossed out.

Cut to George, looking all constipated and whining the one line he gets this episode about how "he's a surgeon" and he doesn't want to babysit Meredith's mom anymore. Guess it's an improvement from that "George gets syphilis" plotline.

Ok, now Weber corners Calvin Klein and tells him that USMLE called him to tell him that Calvin failed the "clinical skills" portion of the exam [Step 2 -- shout out to me and my friend who's taking the test Wed?]. Hello? Didn't you take that OVER A YEAR AGO? And you FAILED CS? Isn't that the fake patient interview one where you listen to their heart and lungs, press on their belly, then do a fake write-up?

Anyway, then he gives him a cheery little pep talk about how he better not fail the retake or they're kicking him out of the program. Thanks for the vote of confidence, boss. Calvin puts his fingers to his temples in the manner of receiving ESP messages. Take off your shirt. Take off your shirt. Take off your shirt. Oh, where was I?

Feisty Yang stubbornly refuses to be kept on bedrest and is hanging out with the other residents somewhere and finally figures out Kalpana has Munchhausen's; she's taking amitryptiline (undetectable on urine tox screen) daily because it gives her the arrhythmias. She finds Burke to report this news and they have a tense little discussion filled with doublespeak in his office about "telling lies" and "deceiving people." [Burke was the father of her ectopic pregnancy and didn't know about it til after the fact. And oh yeah, he unceremoniously dumped her after impregnating her 3 episodes ago.] Burke gives Kalpana a stern (but sexy!) little sermon about how she's hurting herself and wasting resources, so they're turfing her to Psych now. She seems like a rational person, I'm sure she understands.

Meredith and that sassy female resident who sasses all her attendings look at films belonging to that cutie from American Pie who they wish us to believe is a 26yo w/ Cystic Fibrosis who participates in triathlons. They discuss how "bad" the lungs look (though they appear to be looking at abdominal CTs). Cue the educational moment of the episode; CF boy has mentioned something about chronic pancreatitis, and now he's in constant pain. McDreamy's wife (who is a neonatalogist or something) pipes in about how she's seen a cholecystectomy (??) done to relieve the pain, so they decide to go through with this seemingly nonsensical operation.

The sassy female resident won't call cutie's parents for him because he'll "do it himself when he walks out of here." Those famous last words come back to bite her in the ass when cutie flatlines on the operating table. There's a sad moment as she frantically does chest compressions while the rest of the OR staff look on with pity. She finally calls it.

Cut back to Yang's room. She's talking to her mom when Burke stops by for a chat. I don't remember what exactly the conversation was about, but Burke was wearing a camel-colored turtleneck, a cream suede jacket, and tweed pants. And he wasn't wearing his glasses.

Later on, Yang bursts into tears and cries nonstop for hours, apparently. I guess this is Yang releasing some pent-up emotion. Judging from the amusing piano music playing in the background this is supposed to be funny, but I find it more disturbing. Somebody give the girl a Xanax already.

More Meredith, McDreamy, and scary wife BLAH BLAH BLAH something about divorce papers and how he's a wishy-washy tool and they're both buckling down for a fight.

Calvin and Izzy finally meet up for their date but Calvin is all sulky and brooding because he failed CS. (Yeah, dude, you should be. Nobody fails CS.) Izzy is confused.

Hee hee. That was more fun to do on a Monday morning then read transvaginal ultrasounds.

I love the show but I have a few bones to pick:

1) I wish there were that many female surgeons.

2) On the show everyone wears those dashing fitted caps in the OR. All we ever got were those stupid bouffant shower caps.

3) Nobody wears eye goggles in the OR!! OSHA, ya'll!

Ok, guess I should resume real work now.

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