Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I Can Play the Guitar Like a Motherfuckin' Riot

Part of my Spartan regime of self-improvement I undertook with my research year at Iowa was to ACQUIRE MUSIC SKILLZ. So I decided to learn how to play the guitar.

My instructor is Noah, he's an undergrad student at the U. He probably thinks I'm half retarded because I can't strum the right strings without peering down intently at the guitar. (I squint at the music for 5 seconds then I stare down at the guitar strings to make sure I'm plucking the right ones. I'm rockin' out but unfortunately I looks like a damn fool.) He phoned me for a pre-lesson interview to ask about any PRIOR MUSIC SKILLZ and I thought I heard him snicker when I proudly informed him that I was 2nd chair flute in my junior high marching band.

I had bought a brand new Fender and all the cute accessories that went along with it. (I guess had the idea that if I had all the cool gear I would be more committed to my quest of ACQUIRING MUSIC SKILLZ.) I also had some music books I had purchased from the store and brought all my gear with me to my first lesson. At the end of the lesson he was like, Um, maybe we should start with more of a beginner book and totally produces this handwritten sheaf of papers. Most of his other students are little kids (seriously...I'm like frickin Billy Madison in there) I think he wrote it for them. I estimate it to be at about a 2nd grade reading level. I felt a little miffed, like are you insinuating that I have NO MUSIC SKILLZ (and am illiterate and mildly retarded)?? but then I flipped through his book and was like, ooh, Achy Breaky Heart! Dixie Chicks! So I'm trying.


Tonight at the gym the girl on the next treadmill started clapping when she finished her run. It was a little strange but she looked so proud of herself that I clapped too. Like, Good for you, treadmill gal! We should all support each other! We are sisters! And I thought we were totally sharing this moment til I realized that she was watching the World Series and was clapping because the White Sox had just won. (!!) Well I'll clap to that too -- Yay Chicago!!


Serena said...

Yay! I'm learning the guitar too! Are your fingers numb? haha!

square peg said...

Oh yeah. I can't play for more than 30 minutes because of the pain! I am a giant wuss! I asked my instructor if there were any special guitar thimbles I could get so my fingertips wouldn't hurt so much, and he was like, THIMBLES ARE NOT ROCKSTAR.

g-dawg said...

i too am takin guitar lessons, and my rockstar dreams are quickly fading into the sunset. maybe i should switch to drums...

Tristram said...

This will not succeed in fact, that's what I suppose.
viagra for women So, I do not really believe it will have effect.